Why am i so obsessed with this older man?

Hi there. Last semester i became infatuated with this older man who tutored at the community college i attend. He was not my tutor, just so you know. I saw him a lot both in the tutoring center and at the bus stop. I don't see him at all this semester. He was i am guessing, early forty's. I am a nineteen year old female. I really really liked him but we didn't get a chance to talk, we did however have casual flirting going on. He would like have deep eye contact with me and the thing was i was always the one to look away first. He would sit by me as i was being tutored, he would even sometimes smile at me. I would get so nervous and shy around him that sometimes i couldn't act like myself. Anyway, i haven't seen him since December and that was three months ago. I think about him all the time, and often question as to why he didn't talk to me. I wanted to tell him how i felt, but i was afraid i would get rejected rather quickly because of the whole age difference and all. It so hard for me to let go of this older man because i felt like their was chemistry between us even though we didn't know each other. I have dreams about him and i always look around campus just to see if he is there or not, but he's not. When i would go up for tutoring (last semester) i would dress up really cute to impress him. I think he knew that i liked him, and i think he liked me too. Please don't say that i have "daddy issues" because i don't, i just happen to like older men. Plus i am very close to my father. I am also not a "gold digger" so don't bother saying that either. I have no idea on how to move on from this, sometimes i get really upset and cry because i really liked him, and i have no clue if i will ever see him again. I have liked him for months now so it wasn't just a "short" crush. Do you think he felt the same way as i did? Is this all in my head or do you believe that he could have actually cared about me? I get asked out by other guys but i am just not interested in them, as i would prefer someone older but maybe it wasn't meant to be after all. I mean how much could we really have in common? I know that he wasn't married and didn't kids. Its been months now, i don't know where to go from here, any advice? Thanks :/